Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
