Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
