P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
