She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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