Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
