It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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