I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
