Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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