We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
