we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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