i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
