come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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