He asked to "fluff my boner.."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
