so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
