are you still at the devil's house?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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