I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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