i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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