At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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