it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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