oh god the rape fog is back!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
