WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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