Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
