Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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