Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
