If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
