i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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