i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
