Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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