Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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