dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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