I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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