If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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