Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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