Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
