But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
