I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
