where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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