Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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