I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
