It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
