I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
