Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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