I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it because I queefed?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
