i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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