her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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