She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drunk is not a location!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
