She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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