On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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