We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
