at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
