Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
